Overcoming Performance Anxiety: Singing After 15 Years of Fear

You can't overcome your fears unless you face them. So last year, I decided it was time to finally confront my performance anxiety around singing—something I developed after someone told me, when I was a little girl, that I couldn't sing well and advised me not to sing in public. 

Oddly enough, the same thing happened to my mother and one of my sisters. That made me fearful of doing something that once brought me so much joy as a child.

Taking Singing Lessons as an Adult to Build Confidence 

After 20 years of wanting voice lessons, I was finally in the position to give myself that gift over a year ago. In doing so, I made progress in overcoming my singing performance anxiety and strengthening a skill I lacked confidence in. I reclaimed a joyful hobby that insensitive words had made me give up for far too long.

My singing time quickly became the highlight of my week—one thing I did that was just for me that relaxed and uplifted me and brightened my day. Singing the different vowels felt like a meditation, a moment to quiet everything else and just focus on the sound. In the midst of life's responsibilities and stress, those lessons were a space where I could focus on melody, pitch, and rhythm, developing and strengthening another artistic release. 

Even during my lessons, my nerves would sometimes show. I remember one of my recent lessons when an instructor noticed my singing performance anxiety and told me to relax, assuring me that I was doing well and had a beautiful voice. That gentle encouragement made all the difference.

Facing Performance Anxiety: Singing in Public After 15 Years of Fear

Last June, it was nerve-wracking to step onto that stage in the recital hall, especially since it was the first time I'd sung in front of people in around fifteen years. But it was also liberating and healing—the beginning of a new chapter. And I wasn't alone. Every student performing seemed nervous about singing. We were all in the same boat, battling our performance anxiety, but we all showed up and pushed through it.

Performing at my June 2025 recital

There was something special about being in a room with a spirit of growth, learning, acceptance, and encouragement. I remember one student who was playing the piano and kept messing up at one note in the beginning. He didn't bring his sheet music because he'd played perfectly before the recital, but the nerves were getting to him. He tried a couple of times and still couldn't get it. Then one of the staff members got up and helped him find the right key, and everyone cheered as he found the right note and successfully played the whole song. That moment captured everything beautiful about that space—no judgment, just support.

I'm grateful I had the opportunity to step onto that stage and sing a song that's both nostalgic and meaningful to me. I sang "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes" from Cinderella—how poetic it was to sing that Disney classic about dreams coming true. The song holds a special place in my heart. I grew up on Disney movies, and Cinderella was one of my first favorites when I was in elementary school. In fact, when I was around six years old at Disney World, and I saw Cinderella, I was so excited that I screamed and ran into her arms for a hug. Decades later, I was singing her song on stage, living out a dream of my own—a wish my heart made.

When my teacher hugged me after I sang, I knew he was proud of me. “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” was one of several songs I sang during my time at the music school, along with “When You Wish Upon a Star,” “Colors of the Wind,” Beyoncé's “Listen,” and others—each one was chosen for its motivational message and innocent lyrics. These songs helped me discover different aspects of my voice and pushed me to grow.

What I Learned Along the Way from My Voice Lessons

Me with my "Songbird" and "Rock Star" trophies, right after receiving them at my music school

Even though I decided it was time for my chapter at this music school to come to an end, I'm grateful for everything I've learned: chest voice versus head voice, legato versus staccato, the physiology of the larynx, warm-ups, and vocal clarity. I learned about breath control, coup de glotte, portamento, messa di voce, registers, falsetto, vocalise, and chiaroscuro, among other techniques. 

I learned how to develop an ear for pitch and match every note I hear. I discovered my favorite keys and my current—and growing—range. I built a repertoire of songs and worked with kind instructors who told me I had a beautiful voice, who encouraged and believed in me. That kind of support can make all the difference, especially when you're facing your fears.

Celebrating Growth in Overcoming Singing Performance Anxiety

Me holding my "Rock Star" trophy after over a year of voice lessons

Change, of course, is never comfortable, but it's often necessary for our growth and transformation. Celebrate the big milestones and the small moments—the moments that remind you that you took a step to effect change in your life.

Now, when I look at my two trophies that I was awarded from my music school—trophies that tell me I moved from "Songbird" to "Rock Star" status—I'll think of all of this—all the memories that remind me of what happens when you take a chance and do something you've always wanted to do, having faith in yourself, and the courage to pursue what you once loved.